extremely nsfw and cursed as all hell, you have been warned. only includes the adult characters because…duh? made in collaboration with @scalpel-mom-mori
Childe: he’s definitely into consensual non consent, which would normally be fine. -1000/10 because he ropes Traveler into it >:(
Kaeya: hc he’s Teyvat’s equivalent of a furry and owns several abyss mage dresses. 1/10 because that’s just fucking disturbing
Zhongli: he has, like, all the rich people kinks. lingerie, sugar daddy, all that. his safe word is mora, so no respect and rich people kinks are boring so 3/10
Diluc: tell me to my face that this man isn’t into temperature play. but be careful with that pyro vision, cuz sometimes he forgets you’re not immune to it. that’s a solid 4/10 at best.
Kaeya #2: so what does a frozen reaction look like in bed? 0/10 not a vibe, that fucking hurts
Xiao: this man gives me mad vanilla vibes? I don’t think I can rate his kinks because Xiao is into soft kissy missionary and soft kissy missionary only. but. 10/10 because it’s Xiao
Albedo: bro you think this guy gets any??? he cares about one thing and that’s the power of science–like, he could totally could totally get some but he’s got better things to do, which I respect. 10/10 for that.
Ningguang: rich people kinks (see Zhongli) but. BUT. tell me this woman isn’t into edging because she has the patience to build a floating palace room by room. 8/10 for the dedication alone
Beidou: she’d step on you if you asked, but other than that, she’s too busy being a Badass Pirate ™. 1/10 because boring
Keqing: praise kink praise kink praise kink 5/10
Jean: does. does Jean have…time? for anything? I??? 0/10 because she lives in her office and does not sleep but Diluc totally would do her on her desk oops
Lisa: will ara ara you until you cry, 20/10
Mona: does not want seggs. wants money to buy salad. i respect this. 1000/10 for priorities
Honorable Mention for Signora: YOU SAW THE CUTSCENE WITH VENTI. Y’ALL KNOW WHAT SHE’S INTO. 2/10, boring as hell and also Venti didn’t deserve that
Dainsleif: yes I realize we know nothing about him but. like. he’d talk mad shit and then be super soft after. uhhhhhh,,, 5/10 not my thing but okay
Baizhu: you know this man is into German dungeon porn. 13/10 for originality
Rosaria: did somebody say “nun kink”? 9/10 for eccentricity and the sheer balls of this woman to commit sins in Barbara’s church