taking a quick break from requests to write this
before reading: vent fic, kaeya has bad depression, overdose at the end, angst but the ending is happy (?). if any of these topics trigger you dni. cut for obvious reasons + length (1.5k words)
Kaeya wakes up in the middle of the night but can’t open his eyes. If he opens his eyes, he’ll be remembered that he’s still living a nightmare. He lies like that for hours until he feels the sun beaming through his window onto his face and knows he needs to get up for the day.
He opens his eyes and an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion washes over him. Partly due to his lack of sleep and partly due to his lack of serotonin.
Kaeya drinks even more lately. He’s been buying alcohol from the different taverns around Mondstadt, creating a hefty supply of bottles on his kitchen counter. He starts his day with a long swing or two from something he doesn’t remember the name to. His expensive wine glasses sit untouched on a high shelf as Kaeya’s lips wrap around the neck of the wine bottle.
The alcohol helps numb him for a while. It doesn’t take away his pain but it helps him forget about it. His hands clutch the bottle close to his chest and he bites back tears.
Frankly, he didn’t know what went wrong.
For five years, Kaeya had been fine. He wasn’t doing great but he could have been worse. He managed to smile and laugh and have a good time with his friends. He was never late on paperwork and he even kept up his flirt reputation. But when the five year anniversary for his father came around, Kaeya cracked. Maybe he was bottling up his emotions for so long or maybe it just never hit him until then but either way, Kaeya was finally broken.
Over time, Kaeya fell into a depression worse than he even knew was possible. It was unbearably hard to get out of bed and he couldn’t remember the last time he was brushed out his hair, opting to keep the tangles in a messy bun at the back of his neck. He couldn’t shake the feeling of worthlessness from his body. That’s why he started abusing alcohol.
Kaeya felt the familiar burn in his chest and pressed the bottle to his lips again, downing half the bottle in minutes. He knew he was overdoing it today but he didn’t care.
His hands slipped then, the bottle crashing to the floor and splintering into a hundred glass shards. The liquid pooled out around the glass and Kaeya frowned.
He didn’t realize how long he had been staring at the mess on the floor until a knock sounded on his front door. For a moment, Kaeya only stared at it. Who was at his door? The knocking persisted for a few minutes longer before subsiding and Kaeya let out a sigh of relief. He checked the time, he was late to work, and decided he would take another sick day.
He took one the day before, too.
Not bothering to clean up the mess, Kaeya grabbed a new bottle of wine and trudged back to his bedroom. He dug around in his nightstand until his fingers brushed a bottle of sleeping pills.
Albedo had given them to Kaeya months ago when Kaeya was just starting his downfall. He was having trouble sleeping and with a flirty smile, Albedo handed them over. Kaeya wondered if he regrets it now.
Kaeya opened the pills, pouring some into his hand and popping them into his mouth. He washed them down with the alcohol and continued the process until the bottle was empty. Kaeya laid back on his bed, his eyes closing on their own. He was just so tired.
You, along with everyone else, were worried about Kaeya. You rarely saw him anymore and when you did, he had dark bags under his eyes and didn’t speak. You tried to help him but were only met with fits of anger and arms pushing you away. It was disheartening but you couldn’t help those who didn’t want to be helped.
But when Kaeya didn’t show up to work for the fifth day in a row, Jean asked you to check in on him. Maybe he was just bedridden with a nasty stomach bug and wasn’t able to send a messenger. You even stopped to pick up some soup for him before showing up on his doorstep.
You knocked on his front door a few times. It was silent inside the home and you eyes traveled to the overgrown bushes and unkept flowers at the front of his house. His mailbox was practically overflowing with letters and bills and his nameplate was rusty. When no one answered the door, you sighed and began to retreat. Maybe he was asleep and you caught him at a bad time.
As you began to walk away, your mind began to wander. You knew Kaeya wasn’t doing well. You didn’t know the details, but you knew enough to be concerned. Kaeya was your friend and what kind of friend would you be to leave him alone in this state?
You pivoted and turned, banging on the door with your first. When, still, no one opened it, you took matters into your own hands. You used all of your strength to break the door handle right off the door, leaving a splintered mess. None the less, you were able to get the door open and waltzed inside.
The first thing you noticed was the smashed wine bottle on the kitchen floor. Then you saw the tens more sitting on the counter. There were papers and clothes scattered about the house and Kaeya’s once neat abode was nothing short of a disaster zone.
Your feet traveled faster than your mind. You went straight to his bedroom and when you saw Kaeya lying on his back, your heart dropped. Your hands reached out for his shoulders and shook them violently, noticing the empty pill bottle next to him. Thankfully, Kaeya’s eyes slowly opened.
Then suddenly everything was moving too fast. Your fingers jammed down Kaeya’s throat and he emptied his stomach onto his lap. It was a mess of pink, foamy liquid but you were relieved.
Your free hand ran soothingly up and down his back. Kaeya gagged again and once he regained his composure, he weary eye looked up to meet yours.
“You’re okay, Kaeya. You’re okay.”
“I’m tired,” He whispered.
With the pills out of his system, you helped Kaeya change clothes and toss his dirty sheets into a basket. He laid back on the bare mattress and closed his eyes again.
While Kaeya slept, you tried to clean around his apartment. You tossed his dirty clothes into the wash basin and picked up some trash to throw out. You even cleaned up the broken bottle on his kitchen floor, securing a cut on the side of your hand. You knew you would need to tell Jean about what happened but your conscious wouldn’t let you leave Kaeya alone.
When Kaeya wakes up again, he doesn’t expect to see you sitting on his bedroom floor folding clothes.
He tries to open his mouth, say your name, but only a garbled whisper comes out. It’s enough to grab your attention and you jump up, throwing yourself at Kaeya.
“If you ever do that again, I’ll get Barbara to freeze you!” You cry, letting the tears you had been holding back run freely. When you finally pulled back, Kaeya looking down at his lap. “You scared the Hell out of me, Kaeya.”
“Sorry.”
“Kaeya,” Your hand brushed his cheek and he looked up again, “You can’t do this again. You need to reach out and-”
“I didn’t mean to,” Kaeya said. Tears were forming in his own eyes but you waited patiently to wipe them away. Kaeya continued, “I was drunk and I just…wanted the world to stop spinning. Everything just hurts so bad, Y/N! My dad is dead and my brother hates me and…and…”
You moved next to Kaeya on the bed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Kaeya was much taller than you and the position was awkward but you didn’t care. Your hands pushed his matted hair out of his face, “Diluc doesn’t hate you. I promise.” Kaeya only shook his head and curled into your side, sobbing even more.
A week later, you finally told Jean what happened. You had spent the days with Kaeya, helping him feel himself again. You disposed of the alcohol and finally helped Kaeya take a shower and wash his hair again. It took you hours but you finally retuned his long hair to it’s luxurious state again. On the outside, Kaeya looked better, but you weren’t sure when it came to the inside.
But you worked with Kaeya everyday. You slowly eased him back into everyday life, bringing him on commissions with you or walks through Windrise. Kaeya never left your side.
Sometimes he had nightmares about that day. And when he woke up in a rush, his skin clammy and heart aching, you were right there to calm him down. Your hand tangled with his and you pressed reassuring kisses to his shoulder until he agreed to lay back down with you. With you, Kaeya felt safe.
With you, the world didn’t spin anymore.