Honey, anon, it is ALWAYS Kaeya brainrot hours on this blog. And because you said random, specifically for the SFW set, the hcs range from angst, to fluff, to just odd
Spoilers: Allusions to some of Kaeya’s later friendship stories
SFW
- Okay, so ya’ll know how he is sexy eyepatch man right? And Kaeya would totally be the type to wear one just for aesthetic? Okay but what if there’s actually more meaning to that. Cause, in the splash art of Dainsleif, the only other person we KNOW is from the same place as Kaeya, we also see him with an eyepatch. What if like, there’s some religious or spiritual or symbolic meaning to having your right eye covered? Like, from where they’re from?
- Anyway
- I hc him to have insomnia. Or just… a really hard time sleeping sometimes.
- Man’s stuck between two allegiances and at odds with both so like?? I imagine him staying up till ungodly hours thinking about it (If you know, then you know)
- Which brings me to my next hc, is that he drinks himself to sleep sometimes
- When Kaeya’s had a particularly rough day, he’d buy several bottles of Death After Noon or Diluc’s strongest stuff and just go home instead of lingering in the tavern.
- Diluc would confront him about it if the two weren’t at odds
- BACK TO FLUFF (i swear i prefer fluff to angst but I’ve just read some of his friendship stories and I’m ;-;)
- Spends 20 years to dress up, I mean have you SEEN THOSE LAYERS
- 100% late all the goddamn time because of it
- Though he just brushes it off under “Oh I was just getting some information…”
- If you were to try and out him, he’d actually have intel ready to share
- Or he’d make something equally believable
- Jean knows he’s lying but after the 10th attempt, she gave up on trying to call him out for it
- Kaeya would be the type to say “My illness may be chronic but my ass is ICONIC”
- Diluc, Paimon, and/or the Traveler would then proceed to say “You don’t even have one”
- Probably plays card games a lot in the tavern. It’s one of his methods of getting information out of people, by gambling it.
- I hc he’s very good at it
- He also probably prolongs the game on purpose (only if he has a guaranteed chance of winning tho) to see the hope dance in his opponent’s eyes only to smother it by revealing they had no chance at all
- Kaeya’s canonically sadistic and likes putting people in tough spots, I don’t make the rules
- Okay I say Kaeya’s an ass and a chaotic crackhead but like?? In an actually committed relationship?? He’s soft…most of the time
- He’s still his rambunctious self but he tones it down for his s/o
- He’s talkative as fuck but at the end of the day he’s really quiet and just looking to relax with his s/o
- Probably touch and/or affection starved
- But he doesn’t use his flirtiness to cope with it
- He copes with it by never paying attention to it. Kaeya never addresses it. ever.
- So like, if you were to give him affection he’d at first be all “???” but then he melts
- Random one: probably a cat person
- I also think this guy likes spicy food, low-key
- He’s naturally cold all the time, so like, feeling something hot is interesting
- This might also feed into his alcohol addiction as he also looks for that burn
- Isn’t the type to hold grudges, but he is the type to use them to his advantage
- Is there an orphanage in Mondstadt?? There probably is. There better be because I hc him to go there and help out when he’s escaping from knightly duties and he’s convinced the people there to never tell a soul about it.
- Rumours spread but he doesn’t really mind.
- He just doesn’t want Jean to know he’s slacking lmao
- Not that Jean would mind
The angst variation of this would be that Kaeya also goes there to report to his father about the ploy. But I really hope that isn’t the case.- Also! Braid his hair. He loves it. And he’d flaunt that shit to the other Knights. No questions asked
NSFW UNDER THE CUT
NSFW
- OKAY SO
- IT IS THIRSTY HOURS, BUCKLE IN BOIS GALS AND NB PALS
- THIS FUCKER IS SADISTIC
- AND THAT IS A CANON FACT
- But not in the way he wants to beat you black and blue, oh no no no no no
- He would never want to physically hurt you outside of some light choking
- Frankly he finds it boring if you experience pain through conventional means
- Oh but overstimulation is his bread and fucking butter
- He wants to see you in pain from the fact you simply can’t take what he’s giving
- Kaeya wants to completely overwhelm you with pleasure to the point you can’t think of anybody but him
- He’ll make sure to make you cum at least a couple of times before using his dick
- Or completely deprive you to the point you’re in tears begging for him
- *cough*
- This man is represented by a peacock so of course he has the cock to match
- Okay I’m like half joking he has a twink ass,
albeit hot,body goodness - He’s probably about average in terms of cock length/girth but boi does he know how to use it
- You know, if you’ll be coherent enough to appreciate his skill by then
- He is also, most definitely, the king of dirty talk
- If you’re really into that, he might make it a point to try and get you off, or really close to it with just his words
- Also oral king
- In summary, his mouth and tongue is his greatest weapon, be-fucking-ware
- Also, temperature play. Like ice play. Probably keeps at least the bottom half of his clothes mostly on so he can keep his Vision on
- Also, I’ve mentioned this before to my friends but, ice dildo
- If you’re into spitroasting/threesomes, here’s the thing, he is not willing to share
- But he still wants to please his partner through the use of the unholy ice dildo
- WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS SCENARIO I MADE UP BUT HAVEN’T WRITTEN YET SINCE I CAN’T WRITE SMUT SCENARIOS
- Okay so what if you’re a lil inventor/researcher/something of the sort (re: my Kaeya x reader)
- And one night he uses his ice dildo on you
- So you become inspired and invent Teyvat’s first fucking vibrating dildo
- So you bring this up to Kaeya and he’s like “Ohoho~ I didn’t know you enjoyed it that much” lies, he did “Hmm, now how shall I use this to pleasure you~?”
- Then you say “Oh, no, I wanted to use it on you”
- Bitch, this twink will choke
- But he is down
- At first he teases you a lot, trying to deter you from domming him but if you are able to tame this brat
- Ohoho this opens a pandora’s box
- A bit of an inexperienced sub but he’s very willing to learn from you
- Has never been a sub before, so you taming him is a feat in and of itself
- Will probably fall in love with you even more tbh
- Okay I talk about all this kinky ass shit but if you’re not into that that’s cool too
- Kaeya also loves soft, love making
- You know how I said he’s lowkey affection starved? Yeah, Kaeya just indulges when you want soft love making
- Okay I’m gonna shut up now I still have to write nsfw alphabet QwQ