- a/n: i decided to write some angsty stuff this time. i was actually working on this earlier, but i accidentally deleted it. so here we go again! this is my first time writing angst, so it might not be great. nevertheless, i hope you enjoy~ (also requests are open,, pls im so bored)
- pairings: childe, zhongli, kaeya, diluc x reader
- pronouns for reader: gn/not mentioned
- warnings: angst no comfort (childe, zhongli, kaeya), angst with comfort (diluc), mean kaeya, swearing (childe, diluc)
- synopsis: you confess your feelings to them but they reject you.
𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞
“Still don’t know how to use chopsticks, huh?”
Stars twinkled in the cimmerian skies as you sat down on a bench beside Childe. The two of you had just gone out to Wanmin Restaurant — but only as friends. However, you were determined to be more than friends with him by the end of the night.
The two of you now sat on a bench in Yujing Terrace. “So…” you began, kicking your legs. You glanced at your friend; he was wearing his usual expression: a wide, goofy grin and those deep blue eyes sparkling with a craving for mischief.
The gangly ginger’s eyes were focused on the dark skies above. Starlight reflected off of his cerulean eyes, causing them to shine beautifully. “The stars sure are pretty tonight, aren’t they?”
You nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s a nice night,” you said, although you wished it was you he was calling pretty.
“Reminds me of the northern lights we would see back in Snezhnaya. Oh, Archons, I can’t wait to get back there! Liyue is nice, but I have had quite enough of it,” he said, still gazing up at the skies.
You couldn’t help but wonder if it was you he was trying to get away from. You knew it wasn’t true, but doubt clawed at your belly anyway. You began nervously fidgeting with your hands. Oh gods, what if I screw this up? you thought worriedly. I’ll probably stumble over my words and he’ll think I’m a complete weirdo!
“Well, what do you want to do now, Y/N?” His voice snapped you out of your anxious thoughts.
You weren’t sure how to reply to his question, even though you knew what you wanted to do. Tonight was the night you planned to confess to him, and you would see your plan through — even if you were extremely nervous about it. “Erm…” you murmured quietly.
Childe noticed your fidgeting. “Is something wrong, Y/N? You’re fidgeting with your hands; is something making you nervous?” he asked.
“N-no!” you stammered out, over-defensive. You gulped, instantly regretting snapping at him. Your face turned red with embarrassment, your ears growing warm with shame. “I-I mean… Well, yes— But n-not really! It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
He tilted his head, clearly curious. “What do you mean?”
You sighed. I’m gonna mess everything up, aren’t I? Welp. There’s no turning back now. Just spit it out! “I, uh… Well, you s-see— It’s a little hard to explain, really, but I… I think—” You drew in a quick, deep breath. “—that I like you.”
Childe’s smile faltered. “Oh,” was all he said at first, before falling completely silent.
“Shoot, I’m s-sorry,” you spat out hastily. “That came out o-of nowhere, I’m really sorry if I caught you off-guard. W-was now a bad time?” You chuckled nervously, a glimmer of hope still within you.
“Wow, uhm. Y/N, I’m flattered, really— I don’t really know the best way to say this… but I don’t really like you back,” he replied bluntly. “I have feelings for somebody else. Sorry.”
The hope that remained inside of you dissipated with those words. “O-oh,” was all you could manage out. You were heartbroken, a flurry of emotions inside of you: jealousy, sadness, and disappointment — not only in the fact that he rejected you, but also disappointed in yourself for thinking this would actually work.
“I-I should, uh, go now,” Childe rushed out. “I have stuff to do at the Northland Bank. Erm, see you around, maybe?” You didn’t reply; if you said anything, he would just hear the sorrow in your voice. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself even more.
With that, he walked off, leaving you alone, in the cold darkness. And there you sat, sobbing on that damned bench.
𝐙𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢
It was a sunny day in Liyue Harbor as you approached the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, a bouquet of glaze lilies gripped tightly in hand.
Inside the building was where your friend Zhongli worked. You had come to his workplace today to… well, to confess your feelings to him. By the time the two of you left the building, you were almost sure that you’d be more than friends.
You had been planning this for a month or so, and you had got him the perfect gift to go along with your confession: a bouquet of glaze lilies, his favorite flower. Mustering up all your confidence, you stepped forward and knocked on the door.
Surprisingly, it was Zhongli who answered. He opened the door halfway. “Oh, hello, Y/N,” he greeted you, a smile on his face
His beautifully expressive golden eyes and that placid grin melt away all your confidence. Oh Archons, I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, haven’t I? is all you can think. “H-Hi, Zhongli. Is now a bad time? Are you, like, busy or anything?”
“Oh, no, not at all! Come on inside, I’ll treat you to some tea in my office,” he replied cheerily, opening the door all the way and allowing you inside. You stepped inside the lobby of the funeral parlor, hastily tucking the bouquet behind your back before he spotted it. He escorted you down a hallway towards his office.
You entered the room with him. The office smelled of silk flower perfume and old books. Tall bookshelves with old, thick volumes were lined against the mahogany-paneled walls, antiques were littered all around the room, and papers scattered his desk. “My apologies for it being so slovenly; I haven’t had time to tidy up,” he said, pulling aside a chair for you. “But please, take a seat.”
You graciously took the seat, nodding him a simple thanks. You were still making an attempt to conceal the glaze lilies from his view.
“So, Y/N, what brings you here?” he asked. There was a curious glimmer in his eyes.
“W-well,” you stuttered out, unsure of what to say and letting your anxiety overtake you. Oh goodness, I’m going to mess up. Uh… Just give him the flowers! you urge yourself. You handed him the bouquet. “H-here, I got you these. I know they’re your favorite flower, so I picked some from Yujing Terrace.”
“Awe, you shouldn’t have!” he exclaimed, eagerly taking the bouquet and eyeing the flowers fondly. “Thank you so much, Y/N.” His tone was cheery but his eyes were filled with melancholic longing. “These are wonderful. I’ll make sure to find a very special place for them later.” He set them down on his desk. “Thanks again.”
“Y-you’re welcome,” you replied softly, the anxiety showing in your voice. “Erm, I have a question for you.” You had begun to fidget with your hands, praying that this would go well.
“Well, I’m sure I have an answer; there’s no need to be so nervous. Ask away, Y/N,” Zhongli said, still smiling.
You took a deep breath, uttering a final, silent prayer to the Archons that he’d like you back. “I-I don’t really know e-exactly how to put this into words, but, uh…” A lump had formed in your throat, but you forced yourself to gulp it down. “I-I, uh, think— No, I know that I like you.”
His cheery expression dissipated, replaced by a bewildered one. His eyes were devoid of all emotion besides confusion. He chuckled nervously. “Uh, could you possibly rephrase that, Y/N? I’m not sure I understand.”
You, admittedly, were confused too. What could he not understand? “Zhongli, I’m in love with you,” you restated more bluntly.
“Oh. Interesting,” he murmured thoughtfully. His eyes darted between you and the glaze lilies sitting on his desk. “Love is an intriguing concept.”
‘Interesting?’ That was all he had to say? Just ‘interesting?’ Admittedly, you were angry — no, fuming. Were you just a character in a book to him? Interesting, but nothing more? “What do you mean?” you hissed out, trying to mask the anger in your voice, but to no avail.
“I just… fail to comprehend it, really,” he conceded, shrugging. He examined you with his pensive golden gaze. “Are you angry, Y/N?”
“Yes, I’m angry!” you snapped at him. “That’s— Zhongli, that’s not how you reply to someone telling you that they’re in love. You don’t just say it’s ‘interesting’ and brush it off!” You balled your hands into fists.
“My apologies,” he said, but his voice was flat and insincere. “I was just… addled at the statement. It’s been a very long while since someone has said something like that.”
You sighed, exasperated and trying to contain your anger. “I’m sorry, too; for being impudent. But I think I’ll see myself out now. Goodbye.”
“Oh… Goodbye.” His voice sounded rueful, but he let you walk away, not saying anything after that.
You stormed out of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, your emotions errupting inside of you. You were mad — mad at yourself for acting like a jealous toddler, and mad at him. But you were heartbroken too, of course. Several months of planning gone to waste; not only that, but you may have just laid waste to a valuable friendship.
Mistakes had been made, but there was no turning back from them.
𝐊𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐚
The sun had long since set on the City of Freedom. The moon was perched high in the sky, it’s light gleaming down on all the buildings of Mondstadt. You were heading to the Angel’s Share, where you knew your beloved Calvary Captain would be drinking.
For at least a few months, you had developed a crush on Kaeya. Tonight was the night you were finally going to confess to him. Though, if you were being honest, all you could do was hope he’d accept your confession. He was infamous for being mysterious and unpredictable, so you were completely unsure of the reaction you would get out of him.
You approached the tavern, and taking a deep breath, swung open the door. Kaeya sat at the bar alone, looking slightly tipsy and ruddy-faced. You walk over to the bar. “Hi, Kaeya.”
He turns towards you, looking slightly surprised to see you. “Oh? Howdy, Y/N. I certainly wasn’t expecting to see you here,” he said. “Take a seat, I insist.”
You took the seat next to him. “Thank you for being so courteous,” you say sweetly.
“Of course! Would you like me to treat you to a drink?” he asked, a playfully flirtatious grin on his face. “Dandelion wine, perhaps?” You nod in tacit agreement. Kaeya then flagged down the bartender, Charles, and ordered a glass of dandelion wine for you. “Well, darling~ What brings you here this fine evening?”
You were caught off-guard by the nickname. Your face instantly turned red, and you turned away to try and hide the blush in your cheeks. Your mind was racing. Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods. Did he really just call me darling? He— Oh goodness, I was not ready for this.
Charles arriving with your drink snapped you out of your thoughts. You murmured a simple thanks to the bartender and forced the blush out of your cheeks before turning to Kaeya. “Well, erm… To answer your question, I actually have a question for you, hehe.” You took a sip of your dandelion wine.
“Ask away.”
“Could we go up to the balcony, so it’s a little more quiet? It’s a bit of a… personal question, I suppose,” you replied earnestly.
“Of course!” He grabbed his drink with one hand and took your hand in the other, escorting you up the staircase. The second floor of the tavern was considerably quieter than the noisy, boisterous downstairs, but never completely silent. The two of you leaned against the railing, staring down at the bottom floor. Kaeya swirled his drink around in his glass, taking another sip. “Well, what were you meaning to ask me?”
You drew in a deep breath. “Heh… I-I’ll, uhm, try to make this quick. I-I don’t want to waste y-your time, or anything… so…” You closed your eyes, quickly uttering a silent prayer to the gods. When you reopened them, you let everything pour out. “I really, really, really like you and I have for months, and— Well, I was hoping that maybe we could go out some time?”
Saying everything at once was easier than you thought. Now all you had to do was wait for his response.
Kaeya just laughed at you. “Oh, Y/N, really? I thought you were smarter than this.” He flicked your forehead, obviously with playful intent, but it still hurt.
You winced at the sudden flick, and then stammered out, “Wh-what do you mean?” Your voice was tentative; did you really want to know the answer?
“Y/N. You really should’ve known better; relationships with me don’t usually last too long,” he explained, a devilish grin on his face. “But you are my friend. So I’ll spare you the pain and give you a few simple words of advice: Forget it.”
“Wh-what?” Your voice broke with sorrow and bewilderment, but Kaeya was already walking away. “Kaeya, pl-please w-wait!” He didn’t listen.
Standing outside the tavern you suspected you wouldn’t get the best reaction, but this… this hurt more than anything you could’ve imagined. You let your glass shatter at your feet, tears streaming down your face. You ran down the stairs and burst out the door, crumpling into a sobbing heap outside of the tavern.
A few words had completely broken you. The only thing you could do now was hope that he was drunk, and he didn’t really mean any of that. But he was unpredictable, as you had just learned.
𝐃𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜
The sun setting behind the Dawn Winery was certainly a sight to behold. You walked alongside the winery’s owner himself, Diluc, a close friend of yours. He had invited you to hang out at the manor, and you had graciously accepted.
It was a pleasantly warm summer evening. The breeze was cool and refreshing, and the trees along the pathway provided shade. But it was your companion that captivated your gaze, not the wonderful scenery surrounding him. He was donned in his usual outfit, black pants and a black jacket. His fluffy red hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, and his vermillion eyes gleamed in the sunlight. You stared down at his hands, hanging at his side. Oh, you were dying to hold his hand.
After all those months — years, even — of being friends, Diluc was still aware of your crush on him. You’d been hoping to confess to him soon, and perhaps tonight would be the night.
“Y/N, would you like to stay over for dinner as well?” he asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.
You nodded eagerly. “Of course! What are we having?” This could be a perfect opportunity to ask him! you thought excitedly; Diluc was a kind and understand man, surely he’d accept your confession!
“Adelinde was going to serve Sweet Madame, but I can probably ask her to make something else if that’s not to your liking.”
“I love Sweet Madame! It’s one of my favorites,” you replied in a cheery tone. How can one person be so sweet and considerate? He’s so nice! “Thank you for being so cordial, Diluc.”
“No problem,” he said casually, a slight smile on his face. “You’re a good friend, Y/N; it’s my job to try and accommodate you when you come over.” His smile grew as he stared into your E/C eyes. Your heart fluttered and blush rose to your cheeks.
“What would you like to do once we get to the manor?” you asked. Diluc shrugged, not saying a word. “We could just hang out and chat, if you’d like. We don’t really need to do any special activities!”
“Oh. That sounds nice, actually,” Diluc said softly. “I’d love to chat with you, Y/N.”
In Mondstadt he was known as a more formidable, stern figure, but around you, he was much softer and sweeter, always doting on you and making sure you were okay. You were sure he liked you back.
You sighed softly, wistfully. Fantasies of the two of you frolicking throughout the Windwail Highland, and maybe even Galesong Hill or the Brightcrown Mountains on sunny evenings like this one filled your head. The two of you would laugh and talk together, and pick flowers, and when you finally both tired out, you’d lay out a picnic blanket and he’d treat you to some home-made grape juice.
But you were abruptly yanked from your fantasies as you tripped over a stone, nearly falling face-first to the ground. Somehow Diluc was fast enough to catch you. “Y/N, are you alright? You need to watch where you’re walking!”
“O-oh, I’m fine,” you said, blushing out of embarrassment. Ugh, I’m such a wreck around him! At least he caught me, though. “Y-you’re right, I-I’ll keep a better eye on the path. Thank you.”
“It’s alright, we’re almost there anyway.” You had been so caught up in your daydreams you didn’t notice how close you were to the manor. The building was large, of course, with stone steps leading up to it. It was covered in ivy, surrounded by the vineyard. Diluc lead you up the steps and inside the house.
You were welcomed by the red carpets and warm lighting. You were greeted by Adelinde, Diluc’s head housemaid. “Hello, Master Diluc,” she said. “Your dinner is already on the table.” She gave you two a slight bow.
You walked over to the table and took a seat, the pleasing aroma of Sweet Madame in the air. “Oh, this smells delicious. Thanks for having me over.” You grabbed your fork and took a bite of the fowl. “Mm, Adelinde’s a great cook!”
Diluc nodded. “She really is. So, Y/N, is there anything you’d like to talk about?”
“Hm…” you murmur. “We don’t have anything to speak of, now, do we? Hehe.” Maybe this would be a good time to finally tell him. You took another bite of your food, still considering your options. I think I should… Everything’s gone really well today, what could go wrong?
“So, uh, Diluc?” you asked. “I have a question.”
“Yes?”
“What d-do you, um… think of me?”
He looks taken aback at the question. “Oh. Well, that was a bit random. But I think you’re a very nice, lovely person, and you’re very funny, too.”
You’re slightly relieved; you didn’t expect him to speak ill of you, especially not to your face, but you just wanted to make sure. “Thanks, Diluc. That was sweet of you… I-I think you’re very lovely, t-too, and um…” You took a deep breath. “I-I kind of have a crush on you?”
Diluc looked partially stunned. He set his fork down. “Oh. Fuck. Y/N, I—” He sighed. “I’m so sorry, I don’t really feel the same way.”
Your heart shattered with those simple words. How? He gave every indication that he liked you back, had he been leading you on this entire time? You wanted to cry. “I-I—”
“Y/N, I still like you. As a friend, though. I-I don’t really think I’m ready for any sort of relationship. You’ll find someone else, I’m sure of it. You’re really pretty, and… Yeah,” he said. You could tell this was a desperate attempt to comfort you. And somehow it was working, even if it was only the slightest bit.
You drew in a shaky breath in an attempt to calm yourself down. “Th-thanks, Diluc. I-I think I’ll head home now. Thanks for the food.”
“Do you want me to walk you home?” he asked. There was genuine concern in his vermillion eyes. “It’s dark by now, and there could be monsters—”
“I-I’ll be fine. I insist.” With that, you walked out the door. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. And maybe he’s right, I might find someone else…