nonnies asked :
Any Kaeya pining angst headcanons? :>
Kaeya doesn’t seem like the type to fall in love easily. I don’t know if you’ve already written about this or have done headcanons for this topic already, but what do you think it would be like for Kaeya to fall in love with someone, given his complexities and his ability to show his real self? Also, how do you think he would react to someone who’s not necessarily two steps ahead of him, but rather challenges him through his mind games and doesn’t get manipulated as easily as he thought?
i’m on a kaeya kick, aren’t i.. he’s just so good. im answering both of these in a single ask! i stg all of kaeya’s romances are :sad pining: ?
- kaeya/gn!reader, angst + sad pining, sfw - headcanons, 504 words
- kaeya doesn’t know what to do with you. for the first time in his life, kaeya is at a complete loss as to how to interact with you- handle you, and it terrifies him to no end.
- you’re straight-forward and you say things how you see them; you even have the uncanny ability to see through and call him out on his bullshit.
- usually when Kaeya comes across a personality like this he’d chuckle at their easy-to-read demeanor and take your moments together in stride - slowly worming his way out of their heart and ultimately out of their life. if he’s feeling desperate, he may even poke a few jabs here and there as to whether their truly as bold and brash as they come off or are just - really stupid and don’t know, or care, when their running their mouth.
- but this is different, and as much as kaeya begrudges to admit it - you’re different, and his love for you isn’t just something he can throw away no matter how much he tries.
- you treat him with such effortless sincerity that kaeya doesn’t know what to do with the feelings kindling in his heart or the guilt that snuffs them out. his interactions with you are simple - painless - and you’re just so genuine with him, so good to him that he can’t help but let himself be roped in with every smile you flash his way.
- he finds himself breathless whenever you’re around him - eager and expectant with every pun you crack and punchdrunk with the way his heart beats when you laugh. as cheesy as it sounds, it’s like he doesn’t even have to try when he’s with you. the way you read him so easily - it’s almost relieving, maybe even liberating.
- guilt gnaws at him whenever he walks you home and waves goodbye - shouldn’t it make sense that he should do the same and be genuine to? that’s what he should do, right? but he can’t, kaeya can’t, and kaeya doesn’t think too much on it because he can’t afford to let himself think too much on it. he knows that if he took a good look at his actions his soft, human heart would eventuall break and he’d tear his own walls down and run to you bumbling and crying and -
- and he just can’t risk that. ( not after what happened with his father - not after what happened with his brother. )
- so he just stays the way he is, stagnant and never changing - that way, he thinks - that way things can stay the perfect balance they are. he keeps his secrets, you keep feeding his love, and no one is ever the wiser.
- the nickname “sweetheart” continues to fall from him ever so sweetly, and he tells himself he can bear it. and when he waves you goodbye for the night, he wishes you won’t ever change.