what happens in the abyss, stays in the abyss
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
pairing: childe x g!n/reader
genre: angst
warnings: mental dissociation, death threats, major character death
word count: 1295
notes: this is kind of dark and i honestly dont know how to explain that in tags SHDJ but yeah think of this as punishment for the anons who made me suffer during ebg </3
Darkness filled his eyes as the cold breeze hit his warm skin. It was awfully quiet, his ears never even picking up the slightest sounds. The aura felt empty, it felt unusually… filled with despair.
It was familiar, Childe thought. He thought this particular feeling is familiar to him and it was. And that was where it hit him, he’s inside the abyss. Again.
Harsh memories of being in this dreadful place hit him once more. Making his pupils dilate, heart rate pick up, and breathing raged. He was… hyperventilating.
Childe kept the painful memories of the abyss behind his head, deep inside of his heart locked down to the core. Encountering this place, he regretted it. He regretted it because it made him lose something precious to him, something that he knew he could never get back.
He knew he lost a part of his heart inside this void-like hell.
Looking around, specifically for you, all that was brought to him was only the pitch black surroundings. He didn’t care about himself, he only cared if you were okay. If you were safe. He hoped that you were not sucked inside like he was, he hoped that the most important thing to him was still within his reach. It pained him, just thinking about losing you.
Just as he was about to go deep into his unreliable thoughts, a voice spoke. A voice that he was also familiar with. “Aren’t you tired of…”
“Pretending someone you’re not?”
As precaution, he took a huge leap backwards harnessing his hydro vision into his usual swords. He glared at that figure which just consist of a floating black dust, spiraling before him. The grip on his weapon tighten as he gritted his teeth.
The figure scoffed, “Oh please, Ajax. After all we’ve been through.” Childe was about to snap when it shifted right next to him, its cold demeanor hovering by his side as its voice continued to loom over him. “You can’t fool me, boy. I know the real you.”
His body froze on the spot, he couldn’t move. It wasn’t fear no, it was the aura this suspicious being released. It was overwhelming he couldn’t even think straight.
The void-like creature took a human form, a female one at that. Her fingertips grazing over his shoulders as he felt her breathe right next to his ear. She spoke once again, “‘People are disgusting’. ‘It would be easier if the world would perish’. ‘I hate everyone’.”
He gulped as he could feel his whole body shook. He couldn’t feel his body, he couldn’t feel any of his senses. It felt like his soul was slowly being stripped out.
The mysterious person leaned closer as she whispered, “‘I’ll kill everyone…’.”
Childe’s eyes grew wider. He’s letting himself get manipulated, again. He admits, he thinks of that. A single day never passed without him not thinking of such harsh words. What’s stopping him was….
“Seems like these were your true intentions. ‘A human heart is fragile and if you leave them be, it’ll break on its own’. Please, don’t you dare give me that crap. There’s no such thing as kindness in this forsaken world, anyone who believes so is a fool. The world is a cruel place, you of all people should know that. We both know what you really want, and that is revenge.”
She was right, it pained him to admit that but she was right. The world is unfair, pure kindness doesn’t exist, and evil exists in everyone’s hearts. But what’s stopping him from letting the darkness consume him was…
“I chose to be like this because I don’t want anyone to end up like me!” Childe shouted, his body tensed as his throat hurt. It bewildered the figure, she didn’t expect him to answer like this.
“Yes revenge and being an antagonist sounds nice and all, but what’s that going to give me? Is it going to give me what I lost years ago in this place? Is it going to protect my loved ones? Is it going to make me happier? No, it won’t.
“Nobody told me to be kind, not even myself. But thinking, a mere child going through what I experienced? Breaking a child’s heart, stripping off their humanity, and making the light from their eyes disappear? I won’t like that. That’s why,”
The sight you had as you awoke was unbelievable. His eyes, was very different from the usual. They were duller, emptier, and deadly. It wasn’t the eyes that you loved so much, it wasn’t the eyes that reminded you of the ocean, it wasn’t the eyes that portrayed an image of a starconch you both found by the shore. Instead, it was the eyes that the abyss ruined, the eyes that the abyss tainted.
He gave her a very deadly side glance, his eyes sharpening as his expression darken. His glare was the most dangerous of them all. “I’ll kill you first before you get a chance to do that.”
»»——⍟——«« »»——⍟——«« »»——⍟——««
He looked at you, so coldly full of hatred and anger. It wasn’t the same eyes that looked at you with so much affection, with so much adoration before. It felt like you were staring right into the eyes… of a murderer.
“y/n…” he called out your name in which didn’t roll out naturally like before. It was not his usual gleeful voice but a voice that he only uses when he has to perform business. “I’m leaving you.”
Your eyes widen, your head throbbed, and your chest squeezed with so much pain. You didn’t expect those words leave his mouth, in fact you never expected this day to come. The future you saw was being with him, feeling in his gentle touch as you two laugh together letting the rich sound satisfy your ears. You thought you can have him forever, but it seems like you were wrong.
Desperately trying to deny the happenings right now, you run to him as you clutch to the hem of his clothes. Shaking your head as tears streamed down your cheeks you beg, “No, please. This isn’t you.”
Childe blinked before releasing a hysterical laughter. It confused you. Why is he laughing? Does he think this is a joke? Why? Why?
“Oh, so you think I’m Ajax?” he asked before laughing again. “Sweetie, don’t you realize we’re in the abyss. I’m merely his alter, I’m nothing but a fake! Anything can happen here after all.”
Your head swirled as pain starts to kick in. Not that only you’re in pain, you were confused as well. “W-what?”
“I honestly don’t know what he saw in you for all I see is a weakling asking to be protected.” there goes his cold eyes of his again, staring down at you as if you’re dirt. Colors swirled and before you know it, his eyes turned into deep magenta.
He knelt down as he cupped your face with his two hands, his thumbs wiping off the tears that rolled down your cheeks. His touch was surprisingly gentle. Maybe he was just messing with you, after all this can’t be really happening… right? He smiled, warmly. “Do you really want to see him?”
You nodded as you sobbed some more. His smile slowly turned into an apologetic one as he sighed, “If you insist.”
He gently titled your head to this direction where Childe was supposed to be. The sight didn’t give any comfort for it only brought pain. Eyes widening as your lips quivered terribly.
He was laying on the ground, eyes opened as it looked emptier staring directly back to your own orbs. That same sparkle you saw each time wasn’t there anymore, it looked… dead. His body was…
Cut in half.