+ author’s note: i guess i drank some angst-writing juice today. whoops. also, congrats dainsleif, here is your first work from me, sir!
+ oneshot / 1.6k words
+ angst & romance
+ warnings: illness, a LOT of angst, kissing
+ general notes: haha i did not think i’d write something so quickly for mr dainsleif but here we are!!! i just think He’s Neat,,,,, pls no one tell zhongli ahhaahaha ;;
what if
You loathed little more than your own bed. It was the same space every moment you awoke in it, always a little stiff under your back and that same slightly musty smell sticking despite how many times the maids washed the bedding and changed it. Your heavy comforter was thick and plush and meant to bring you comfort, but your cashmere blanket was softer than the silkiest of feathers. It was a gift just as many other trinkets and belongings that speckled your bedroom. They were all charming and very unique and special to you, but they were hardly enough to push back the lingering fog of despair between those who congregated at your bedside regularly. A hand on your forehead, fingers checking your pulse, too many bitter concoctions that made you sick to your stomach contrary to their purpose. Hushed whispers of a vigorous energy, words indiscernible but almost unmistakably filled with fear. You knew fear and the way it clouded eyes of their focus and made words halt in the backs of throats all too well. Most times, your name was followed not long after with tones filled to the brim with only fear.
“Has he arrived?”
“He’s returned just now.”
The two voices that fell in through your ajar door immediately caught your attention. You were under no circumstances to push yourself so hard, but it had been the longest yet he’d been gone, and you could not simply wait a second longer. The morning air had been dry and stifling just as any other, filled with silence as you fought the overwhelming fatigue, until now. You pushed back the blankets and threw yourself from your bedside, stumbling on weak legs. However, you heart was stuttering and jumping and doing all kinds of things in your chest, and you were alight with the excitement of seeing him again.
You tore with a ferocity down the tower, past maids and servants that yelped in surprise but called your name once they registered the sight of you out of your bed. “You must go back at once! You must go back!”
On bare feet, heels sinking into crumbly soil underfoot, you burst from the tower and darted straight for the unmistakable figure lowly conversing with a few others in the courtyard before you. The flaxen locks somehow always remained shimmery and soft, never a speck of dirt nor dust bothering them. They framed a rather gentle face that was balanced by the fiercely intense eyes that hardly did more than make your heart thunder in pure elation, and the deep voice was perhaps the second most fearsome part of the man before you. It was his power that made others quake even in his presence, never quite cowering but always on edge for Dainsleif just had such a powerful aura it was hard to ever stomach it well. However, the blue eyes like starlight dyed the color of the night sky widened and subsequently narrowed at the sight of you, and despite the displeasure on his face, Dainsleif caught you in his arms.
“You’re back,” you breathed straight into the firm plane of his solar plexus, already feeling the short venture begin to make your knees weak. “Y-You were gone for s-so long this t-time.”
“What are you doing out of bed?” Dainsleif never meant to be so harsh with you, and you knew that was the case, but the words still came out not unlike daggers slicing the air.
You offered no explanation, and he needed none. The company you two were in was forgotten, and for a moment, two strong arms kept your body from sinking to the ground as Dainsleif hugged you with all the same yearning you’d been feeling yourself, every flex of his muscles a result of his care for you. He was so warm and secure, you dug pathetic fingers into the fabric of his outfit, but you were waning faster than you gave yourself credit for. As the hug dissipated, you were swept up into arms that safely kept you from the ground, and your tired head lolled onto one shoulder of the man you considered your prince.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you did this on purpose every time I returned simply so that I would have an excuse to carry you,” the calm, deep voice murmured to you in a whisper meant only for the both of you as he set off back into the tower. “You must be more careful, my love. You do not get better each day.”
“I missed you,” you offered in only a breathy whisper, words hard for your chest to gather the air for.
“I missed you, as well.”
You heard the babbling nurses gathered around your doorway, but they stepped aside for the limber blond man who only returned once every fortnight although the time between visits was beginning to stretch to three weeks at a time. Yet, you could not beg him to stay. Dainsleif did not leave you by choice, but by necessity.
As he lied you in the bed you so fiercely hated, you begged of him, “Did you… find it? Can you… just… stay?”
There were nurses dancing around Dainsleif who waved them off curtly, and you were left with a few just nervously peering into your doorway. Gentle lips met the crown of your head, and you already felt the tears forming as he put off telling you that yet again he came back empty-handed of anything but meager, pretty gifts that would hopefully alleviate the stress if only for the briefest of moments. “No… my love. I do not return with pride,” he whispered, normally composed and confident voice breaking every other word. “I cannot stay long.”
The once malignant atmosphere of your despicable, musty tower room once again was back as strong as ever. The wind that howled outside your window sounded nothing but as eerie as the cry of crows, and the light looked bleak at best, barely lighting the tears that already began to paint your cheeks. “I-I don’t w-want you t-to… g-g-go.”
Each time grew a little more painful, and not even the salty kiss that graced you, interlaced with tears, abated any anguish you felt. Your breaths came hard, and your fingertips felt as heavy as rocks as much as you desired to bury your fingers again in the fine golden silk of his hair. “It is not that I want to leave you, my love, but I must,” the hoarse voice responded to you, drifting over your weakened and slack body.
“Wh-What if… y-you’re not h-here… ?”
“No,” Dainsleif’s voice ripped with a vicious denial from his throat, making the nurses in the doorway jump a foot in the air. “No, I will find the cure to the curse, and when I do, I will let nothing stand in my way to save you. One day, I will be able to stay with you every single night to make up for every one I should have been here by your side, drying your tears and giving you hope. I promise one day, you will be mine, and I will be your prince just as you have always wished. I do not break promises.”
It was the same thing every time despite how much you hated to admit it. The crying grew more and more laborious until you struggled to breathe right, and maids and nurses fretted once Dainsleif jumped to his feet and demanded everything from water to food to medicine. He was not so diplomatic to them, fierce voice biting with intensity, and only when you felt him help guide the glasses of water and the medicine to your lips did the tensions calm among everyone. There was hardly any privacy with all those who tended to you, but Dainsleif had given up long ago on caring who saw him with you. However, when the moon had fully arisen on the nights he did have to stay by your side, he pushed the others away and cleared your tower room of everyone but the two of you. That night was no different, and in the shifting moonlight, you fought heavy eyelids to take in the wonderous sight of his marbled skin where it became tough flesh of a navy blue hue that was not unlike the night sky. The streak that crept up his neck was a line you’d traced a million times, his jawline falling into the palm of your hand like it was meant to fit there, his eyes fluttering closed until you asked him to open them again so that you could see them shine like your own personal stars he’d stolen from the heavens just for you.
You were fading, and Dainsleif knew it. Your own starlight was whispery and glinting, no longer a blinding light that threatened to make him crack a genuine yet rare smile. You felt him lie your palm to the tough skin along his neck just as every other night, and you fought to keep your eyes open and watch his own irises as they drank the sight of you in.
“Stay,” he whispered the same beg to you that you’d shared with him, voice now completely fragmented and hoarse. “Please stay just a little while longer with me. I hardly deserve it, but I-I love y-you. I love you. I would go through every archon and every plane of Celestia for you – just stay a little while longer, okay?”
Lips graced the tip of your nose, the sweetest and most innocent gesture Dainsleif rarely allowed himself to do. His butterfly kisses were so whispery yet so endearing, and you weren’t sure if you were imagining them now or if you were looking at his eyes or the plane of Celestia. Desperate arms coiled around you, and for the first time, you heard the deep voice shred apart as sobs wracked your prince.
“Please don’t leave me.”