+ zhongli x reader long fic!
[ prologue + notes here! ] [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ]
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+ general notes: this is a queued post, so links are not updated. i’m kind of all over the place with this fic right now, so i apologize if these chapters seem messy? or jump around a lot idk dude this wasn’t supposed to be my Life’s Work i thought like 5 people would read this jokes on me lmaooo
19 as an archon
Zhongli sat in front of the fireplace, one leg crossed over the other. A pen nib was between two of his fingers, his other hand resting against his jaw. You sat in the chair adjacent, wrapped up in a blanket, the snapping fire and the scratch of the pen nib on the paper filling the quiet ambience. You’d blatantly stared at him many times ever since his godhood had been revealed to you, but your mind struggled to wrap around it. You didn’t know too much of Rex Lapis, but you’d learned a lot in the short time you’d been in Liyue. Being contracted to marry the god himself helped, too, of course. It made you realize why he’d just been so upset by your lies.
Zhongli shifted, making the piece of parchment he held rustle a little bit. “I have made arrangements for us to have measurements taken at the tailor a few days from now. I will have to make an appointment with the jeweler, as well, to have the rings made before the wedding comes upon us. I am also thinking about inquiring if Xiangling would be willing to make some of her signature dishes for the event, and Master Diluc mentioned there is a few young women from Mondstadt who are excellent chefs as well.”
You were only half-listening. You were just losing yourself in his profile, his slender face and narrow jawline. Rex Lapis. Morax. The God of War, even. The name made a shiver creep over you; if there was one thing you were sure you’d never want to see, it was Zhongli truly angry. You could almost imagine the earth quaking just from his emotion alone.
“Is everything alright, my love?”
“Yes,” you whispered with a small smile. “I’m alright, Zhongli.”
Zhongli cleared his throat. “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss about the wedding or add to the correspondence to Master Diluc?”
“No,” you sighed, eyeing the parchment. “I’m sure you’re stressing out Diluc plenty enough already.”
“I wish for the event to be perfect,” Zhongli defended with only the slightest change in tone. He held his chin a little higher, hope shining in his glimmering gold eyes.
Right. Zhongli had never been married before, or at least, you’d never heard of Rex Lapis taking a partner. You could almost see now that he was maybe even excited by the prospect, and you watched him leave the chair in order to prepare the parchment for delivery to Mondstadt. Then, when he returned a bit later, you bit your lip in hesitation, but you followed through the motions of sliding onto his lap and looping your arms around his neck.
Zhongli peacefully allowed you to do so, your knees folding up in his lap, your fingertips resting over his collarbones. You could feel his breath mixing with your own, and Zhongli closed the gap to briefly kiss you. It was slow, sweet, and so chaste. It lasted for only a moment, and he pulled back to sit up properly again.
In his lap, you could study the finer detail. You could see every strand of his unruly hair, your fingers suddenly brushing the fringes away from his eyes. You could see the deeper flecks of earthen colors in his irises, and you let your fingertip trace the straight bridge of his nose. How could he be real? How could he even be mortal at all? How could he have chosen you of all things?
“What was it like? Being an archon? Giving up your position?”
He hummed in thought, eyelids falling slightly closed. It was like a cat purring, the nostalgia filling his expression something you didn’t see so much now that he had you to brighten his life. The reverberations of his hum spread through his chest where you were leaning into him, and Zhongli’s fingers drifted over your back mindlessly.
“To recount six thousand years of memories would be to sit here reminiscing for perhaps an eternity… but, if I were to try and sum it up…” Zhongli murmured, words slow and voice melodic through every syllable, “it is like looking into a pond of fish. Do you know the little ponds in the pavilion? In the waters, there are fish. Some are big, some are small. Some are different colors. You and I both know that all the fish want is to live their lives fully, to eat well, to have a family, and to enjoy their time in the water. However, you and I know, too, a bird may swoop down at any moment and pluck them straight out of the water, effectively killing them. If not a bird, then perhaps a fisherman. There may be poison dumped into the water; many things can threaten the peace of their day-to-day lives, and to be an archon, you must accept your powers are for protection and never anything else. It is only us few who can wield such great energy and power, and therefore, it is us who must remain clear-headed and focus on cultivation of peace and prosperity in our domains. However… you may know very well not all archons were able to resist the temptation of greed and the power capable to give them whatever they want.”
“Yes,” you whispered. “I understand.”
“I… I, truthfully, had become scared. Liyue had been under my care and direction for thousands of years. It felt as integral as rain is to water crops, but… the truth was that I could not see my purpose after Liyue no longer needed me. If the people can uphold the harbor themselves, even in the face of perhaps Baal or another archon war…” Zhongli’s voice dropped to a sorrowful whisper, “why was I still here?”
The air had shifted, and you saw nothing but pain in his sad eyes. It left you speechless for a moment, and you brought your hand to caress his cheek. “Zhongli…”
“To be stripped of power was something I did not fear… but to have no one looking for me at the end of the day? It was something I’d never even thought possible. And… it was one of my greatest fears. If I walk away, if I leave my position, what happens if Liyue isn’t as strong as I perceived it to be? What if I was too complacent, after all? If the adepti and the Qixing failed, and I had turned my back at the worst possible time… what kind of stories would they write of me after such an outcome? I spent many years, a hundred times more than any human lifespan, watching over Liyue. I could not step down until I was sure that nothing would go awry, but even then… I had no one. No friends… no one searching for me… no one pleading for my help or my advice…. It is not something I would admit to just anyone… but I just want to be needed. There is no better feeling than see your eyes light up whenever I return to you at the end of the day, and forgive me for being so… so weak, my love.”
“You’re not weak,” you immediately corrected.
Zhongli was avoiding looking you in the eye at all, and you swore you saw tears gathering on his lower eyelids. You hadn’t anticipated such emotion blooming from your question, but it seemed there was more underneath Zhongli’s reserved façade than met the eye. His eyes pressed shut, a single tear slipping down the curve of one cheekbone. So, you leaned in and embraced him even tighter, your chin on his shoulder. Zhongli’s arms folded around you, too, tighter than he’d ever dared to hold you. You sunk your fingers into the length of his ponytail, stroking it, and you tried to just be there for him. His time as an archon was not something you could ever personally relate to, but the anguish it seemed to bring him was more something you could fathom. It gingerly unwrapped all the little reasons why things had panned out the way they had: why Zhongli had taken you under his care in the first place, why he’d needed you there, why he’d come back for you after your lies. It seemed you were one of the very few things left he had to look forward to being with and experiencing.
“Zhongli… you don’t know how thankful I am that I met you. I am more than lucky to be the one you’ve chosen, and I don’t want you to worry. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I need you, too.”
“My love…” Zhongli’s voice was completely brittle, so thick with emotion it was completely unlike him. “It is I who is truly lucky to ever have been fated to meet you that night.”
You two held each other for an immeasurable amount of time. In his arms and his grasp, time didn’t matter. All that mattered was the feel of his fingers pressing into you as he held you like you’d fly away with the wind, his sweater so soft and plush under your cheek. Then, when the anguish passed and the heat of the fire eased both of your tensed muscles, you felt his lips on your own.
The kiss bloomed like a flower, deepening with each passing second. You’d knotted your fingers in hair at the base of his neck, and Zhongli was still clutching you close. His mouth had slotted with more fiery passion than you’d expected over your own, and he broke the kiss, hovering just a hair away from your flushed face. It was the deepest, richest kiss Zhongli had ever bestowed upon you in his moments of weakness, but he cleared his throat and dropped a much cooler kiss on your forehead. You were coddled in his arms with your red face, eyes slit, and you fell asleep to the sound of his rhythmic breaths as they rumbled in his chest.
-
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