Never Again, I Promise

AO3 link! y'all, listen, this one was floating around in my head for weeks and I finally had a breakthrough cause of a random tumblr post I made….. anyway, you know what? I finally forced myself to finish it up I hope y'all enjoy it, tell me your thoughts if you’d like to! and as always, sorry for any grammatical errors!

warning: implied abusive parents, clingy reader, and lactation

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“Cassie, hi, do you know where your mother is? I’ve been looking for her all morning.” You asked when you ran into Alcina second oldest daughter, Cassandra.

Cassandra scratched her head. “I think she might be in the library or her study or her office. Honestly, Y/ N, Mother is usually all over the castle before a meeting.” Cassandra replied.

You nodded your head. “Okay, I’ll just check all those places until I find her. Thanks.” You replied before heading to the library.

You didn’t expect yourself to want to be near the tall vampire lady when you first arrived at the castle, but she was so kind to you that you took to her like a baby animal imprinting on the first thing it saw. The library was a bust, but you did find Daniela, Alcina’s youngest, in there studying her French.

“Hey, Dani, do you know where your Mother is? I asked Cassandra and she said that she might be here, her study, or her office.” You asked as you walked up to her.

Daniela shrugged. “Well, there’s a meeting coming up so those last two choices are good places to look. Unless, no, I can’t tell you about that place. Anyway, yeah, her study or her office, check there. If you still can’t find her then come back and we’ll look for her together.” Daniela replied.

You sighed. “Okay. Thanks.” You said before heading out of the library.

You checked her study, knocking on the door first and getting no reply so you opened the door slightly and poked your head inside. Sigh, she wasn’t in there either. You crossed your fingers and hoped that she was in her office. As you walked in the direction of her study which was on the other side of the castle you ran into Bela, Alcina’s oldest.

“Bela, hi! Do you know if your Mother is in her office?” You asked.

Bela nodded her head. “She is! I just came from there, but if you go in there be cautious. There’s-”

You cut her off. “A meeting, I know. I’ll try to be respectful of her space.” You replied. That was going to be a bit hard to do since you just wanted to invade her space as much as you could. You headed to where Alcina’s office was and knocked on the door. “Alci?” You called out, your voice slightly muffled through the thick door.

“Come in, little one.” Alcina said and you pushed the door opened. “What can I do for you?” Alcina asked as she continued to do her work.

You walked over to the desk. “I was just- can I sit?” You asked. Alcina nodded her head and you wedged yourself between her and her desk much to her surprise.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Alcina asked as you got comfortable in her lap.

“I asked if I could sit and you said yes. I can, I can mo-” You started to say but Alcina shook her head. “I’ll be good, promise.” You said quietly as you let her get back to her work. You quickly grew bored just sitting in her lap and started squirming, moving along to a beat that was playing in your head.

Alcina pressed her hand into your side to keep you still. “Y/N, I cannot concentrate if you’re going to do that.” Alcina said. “Why don’t you go bring a chair over and you can sit next to me?” Alcina suggested.

You pouted a bit at the idea, but reluctantly removed yourself from her lap to bring a chair over. She patted the top of your head when you sat down and you smiled to yourself. You didn’t want to seem like you were trying to annoy her, but you were still bored so you tapped her arm.

“Yes, Y/N?” Alcina asked, not taking her eyes off her paper.

“Alci, I’m bored.” You replied. “Do you have anything I can do?”

Alcina let out a small sigh before nodding her head. “The girls used to come in here all the time. There are pencils, crayons, paper, and colouring books. You can use whatever you want, but please try to keep as quiet as possible. I still have tons of paperwork to do.” Alcina said.

You nodded your head. “Okay, Alci.” You replied with a small smile before digging into the drawer that Alcina had pointed to. You sat on the floor by the fire after you’d gotten some coloured pencils and a colouring book. As you coloured, you started humming to yourself, catching Alcina’s attention.

“Dear,” You snapped your head up to look at her, flushing a bit. You gave her an apologetic smile. “Thank you.”

It wasn’t long before you stopped colouring to look up at Alcina. “Ali?” You called out. She hummed in reply. “Can I sit in your lap again? The floor hurts.” You whined. You heard her sigh a bit before she nodded her head, scooting her chair back a bit so you had enough room to get on her lap. “Much better.” You said with a small sigh as you sat on her.

It was an hour later before Alcina patted your side to get your attention. “I’m afraid I have to make a call to Mother Miranda, little one.” You nodded your head and got up from her lap.

“Can I stay?” You asked. Alcina shook her head. “Please, Ali? I’ll be quiet, promise.”

“I don’t know, Y/N. This is a very important phone call.” Alcina said as she headed to the phone. You nodded your head, understanding her decision. “But if you really promise to be quiet then I suppose.” You smiled at her and moved to pick up your stuff when she stopped you. “It’d be best if you stayed right here. Things with Mother Miranda can get quite… tense. And I’d hate for you to get caught in the middle of the rage she incites in me. Do you understand, little one?”

“I understand, Ali.” You replied, albeit a bit dejectedly. You moved your things up onto Alcina’s desk as she sat down in front of the phone.

Alcina gave you a small smile before she dialled Mother Miranda’s number. You had tuned out most of their conversation, only ever jumping when Alcina would growl and pull you out of your thoughts. You didn’t let it bother you much, but you still closed your eyes and took deep breaths to calm yourself down. It was going well until Alcina had slammed the phone down onto the receiver and threw it at the wall on the other side of the study.

You quickly got up and headed over to where she was seated, your heart beating fast. “Alcina?” You called out, but she ignored you. You called out her name again, attempting to rest your hand on her shoulder, but froze when hers shot out and grabbed yours.

Alcina slowly turned to look at you, her eyes narrow as she stared at you. Her nostrils flared and her chest heaved heavily. You let out a small whimper and tugged on your arm when her grip tightened. “Alcina, please, you’re hurting me.”

“I thought I specifically told you to stay at the desk.” Alcina growled. “But what can I expect from a clingy little mouse? I tell you to do one thing and you don’t listen. Do you need a punishment to help reinforce the rules, is that what you require? Answer me!” Alcina spat at you.

Your lip trembled as she spoke to you. Did she really think you were clingy? Your face flushed as your anger got a hold of you and you ripped your arm from her iron-like grip. “I hate you! I hate you! You’re just like them!” You didn’t realise you were crying until you had run out of the office and to Alcina’s room.

You hid in the closet, terrified of what she’d do if she found you. She wanted to punish you, she wanted to hurt you. You whimpered at the memories of what your parents did to you if you even so much as breathed in their direction. But your Alcina would never hurt you, would she?

You wrapped your arms around yourself, sobbing into your knees. “Clingy. She thinks I’m clingy.” You whisper to yourself. You sniffled and felt yourself tense at the sound of heels, Alcina’s heels. You burrowed yourself further into her closet, grateful for how big it was.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there.” Alcina rasped out. “Please, I’m sorry. Please, just come out.” You could hear the cracking of her voice. “When you said that you… you hated me, my heart broke, draga mea. I never wish to harm you. And when you compared me to those monsters you had to call parents, I felt sick to my stomach. I don’t wish for you to view me as you view them.”

“Alcina?” You replied softly, not moving from your spot. You heard rustling in the room before the closet door opened. “Alcina?” Your lip trembled again as you felt tears build up in your eyes again.

Alcina crouched down in the closet before crawling over to you. “Iubirea mea, I’m so sorry. Forgive me for the way I snapped at you, please?” Alcina asked as you crawled into her lap, burying your head in her neck.

You sniffled. “You… you called me cli-clingy. Yo-you h-hurt me, Ali.” You whispered into her neck.

“I never should have said that. I was just so frustrated with Mother Miranda and you… I never want you to see me like that again.” Alcina replied, pressing kisses to your forehead. You nodded into her neck, scooting down to lay in the crook of her arm. You were still crying softly as she caressed your cheek. “Shh, shh, little one, I’ve got you.” Alcina said as she brought one of her breasts out of her dress.

You squeezed it in a silent question and Alcina nodded her head. She let out a small sigh when you latched onto the nipple, putting you in a better position to get her milk.

“Never again, my love, I promise. Never again.” Alcina said softly as you drank from her. You felt your eyes start to droop as you suckled at her breast. “Rest now, little one.” Alcina pressed another kiss to your forehead, running her hand down your back as you fell asleep in her arms.

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